Post #6: Final Reflection on Learning

In the blink of an eye, another 13 weeks in NUS have just passed again. It seemed like I just had my first ES2007S lesson yesterday and here I am now, writing my last blog post for the module. I recall (though, it's really just a mouse click away) the first post that I made about why effective communication skills are important for me. In that post, I highlighted the importance of active listening in both my personal and professional lives. 

Throughout the course, I had many opportunities to practice my active listening skills; from class discussions to interviews to question and answer sessions (after the peer teaching and oral presentation), virtually everything I did in (and out of) class required me to be an active listener. Now that I have completed the course, I would not say that I am an excellent listener (sorry Brad, I did not catch the deadline for blog post #5), but I definitely feel that I am a better listener (my girlfriend can attest to that). I find myself paying more attention to the speaker and interpreting his/her non-verbal cues, showing that I am listening by nodding my head and making small verbal comments like "uh huh" and  "mm", providing feedback and clarifying by asking questions, and deferring counter-arguments. Of course, this list is not exhaustive.

Apart from active listening, I have also learnt and worked on other communication skills during the course. From the skill review we had last lesson, I was surprised by the myriad of skills we covered in the course (we covered almost every single skill, one way or another). One other communication skill of mine which I feel has vastly improved is my presentation skill. As I mentioned in my previous post, although I still get butterflies in my stomach, I feel more confident during presentations now. 

All in all, the journey through ES2007S was an enriching one. As Robert M. Hutchins once said, "The object of education is to prepare the young to educate themselves throughout their lives." I believe ES2007S has provided me with the knowledge and skills to embark on a lifelong journey to be a more effective communicator.

Post #5: Reflection on Oral Presentation

Prior to our oral presentations, the class was tasked to source for good oral presentations on the Internet that were under five minutes. I must say this exercise was really helpful.

Having the concepts of a good presentation in mind, my team and I met up on Saturday to compile and finalize our slides. As the saying goes, "A picture speaks a thousand words”. We all agreed that a good set of slides should have more pictures (and less words) to complement what we would be verbally presenting. This explains why most of our slides consisted of pictures. Having seen the presentations given by the other groups, I thought that our slides could have been better, aesthetically, if we were not working on a tight schedule.

The day before D-day, the team had the opportunity to rehearse through the slides, during which, we gave each other constructive feedback to improve on our individual segments of the presentation.

After the actual presentation, looking through the video, I thought that it went on quite smoothly. The delivery of each of my teammates was clear and well articulated; the transition of the slides was in synchrony with what we were saying; we managed to get the gist of the proposal across to our audience (at least I believe we did). However, the presentation was not perfect. There is definitely room for improvement. I feel that the presentation would have been better if we had engaged our audience more. Moreover, a demonstration on how NUS ModReview might be like would have given our audience a better picture of the platform.

On a more personal note, although I was nervous during the presentation, the various “dry runs”, i.e. the project discussion and mock presentation, as well as a good grasp of the content helped me portray self-confidence (do correct me if I am wrong). Though, on hindsight, my presentation could have been better if I had more control of my gestures - my hands seemed to be flying all over the place. Nonetheless, I believe with the skills I have learnt and the practices I have been put through during the course, I have become a better, more confident presenter.

Post #4: Evaluating Intercultural Behavior

It was two years back, a Friday evening after a long day of classes. My girlfriend and I were at IMM shopping centre, to satisfy her craving for Shih Lin’s XXL crispy chicken, as it was the nearest outlet to campus. All was fine and dandy. She usually complains of boredom when I’m shopping for anything gadget-related, but as she was happily pre-occupied with her food, I took the chance to pop into a mobile accessories store to browse for a new case for my iPhone.

“Oh shoot, shoot, SHOOT!” – Her voice, steeped with panic, suddenly rose from the crowd. When I turned around to look, I saw her frantically scrambling through her bag, her face scrunched up as it always does when something is wrong. She couldn’t find her phone. Being the ‘meticulous one’, I took over the search and carefully combed through the items in the bag, and then dialed her number, hoping to get some haptic feedback. Alas, it was nowhere to be found.

I could feel her distress rise. Just a couple of weeks ago, she lost her two-month-old Apple MacBook Pro (laptop). Her eyes pooled with tears and she started mumbling about how she was going to break the news to her parents. I didn’t know what else to do, so I dialed her number again. And again. Finally, after several attempts, a man answered. He could not speak much English. I could not understand much of what he said either, but when I asked if he could come to IMM, he hung up. I wasn’t sure what that meant. We were skeptical about him turning up, but nonetheless headed to the entrance of the shopping centre to wait.

Scores of passersby went by, and we scanned the faces of as many as we could. After ten longest minutes, a Bangladeshi construction worker, who was still clad in his slightly tattered work clothes, caught our attention from the crowd as he was crossing the road in our direction. He was looking left and right, as if searching for someone. We walked toward him, my girlfriend anxiously muttering, “I hope it’s him” beside me. He seemed to acknowledge us. He pulled out a handkerchief-wrapped parcel from his pants pocket, carefully unfolded the cloth to reveal the phone, and handed it to us. As we thanked him repeatedly, he responded with just a small shy nod before walking back to where he came from.

Like many fellow Singaporeans, I had – I admit with shame – previously viewed migrant workers with distaste. Yet, this Bangladeshi worker reminded me of the cultural universal – distinguishing right from wrong.  Knowing what is right or wrong and acting accordingly transcends cultural boundaries. Even so, we tend to overlook this and are often quick to (mis)judge people of other cultures simply based on hearsay or external accounts. Moreover, the way the Bangladeshi had wrapped the phone with a handkerchief suggested that he respected the value that the phone had to its owner, even if it belonged to a stranger. It made me feel sorry for misconceptions I had in the past, and I realized that mutual respect is necessary for different culture groups to coexist harmoniously, as lack of respect impedes understanding of the other.

Also, while I have never thought of it until now, it was quite a phenomenon that without words, we still managed to locate each other out of so many people in the crowd outside the shopping centre, just based on body language and in this case, very anxious facial expressions.  

Post #3: Application Letter Critique

Post #2: Interpersonal Conflict

Marcus and Ryan are not the closest of brothers; they talk but hardly confide in each other. Marcus, being the elder brother, had recently graduated from the National University of Singapore (NUS), where Ryan is currently a sophomore. Both brothers share a car, which was solely paid by their mother – Marcus now pays half since he is earning a salary. Marcus has always had the priority to use the car since he was in NUS and this has raised several disputes between the two brothers. After Marcus graduated, he has been driving to work while Ryan takes the train to school. At home, apart from their parents, Marcus is usually the one who hangs up the washed laundry to dry – to his displeasure, of course. After a dispute (because of the car) sometime back, both brothers came to the agreement that Ryan will hang the laundry on Wednesdays. This was how it all started again:

It was past midnight when Ryan got home. Marcus was just about to go to bed.

“I’ll need to use the car every Friday, from next week onwards,” Ryan told Marcus.

Ryan has gym sessions with the varsity athletic team every Friday evening, after an entire day of lessons from eight in the morning. Without the car, Ryan would have to lug his gym things around campus the entire day.

“No! I’m paying for half the car now so I should have priority in using it. You can use it during the weekends when I don’t need it,” Marcus exclaimed, and shut the door behind him.

“The car is meant to be shared!” retorted Ryan.

Silence.

Over dinner the following Thursday, Ryan casually reminded Marcus that he will be using the car the next day because of his weekly gym sessions.

“No,” Marcus replied, and then went on to reiterate that since he is contributing towards the car, he should have priority over Ryan. He continued, “Without the car, I’ll have to wake up and leave for work a whole half-an-hour earlier. Can’t you just take the train to school?”

Fuming at how selfish Marcus was being, Ryan tried to reason with him, but was instead met with a non-related issue – the laundry, which Marcus always brings up whenever they argue about the car.

“You haven’t been doing your part in hanging up the laundry, why should I be fair when it comes to the car?” Marcus raised his voice.

“It’s an entirely different issue here and I’m just asking to use the car ONCE A WEEK!” Ryan snapped back, before trying to explain – once again – why he has not been able to do his laundry duty on certain occasions.

The argument continued with intense verbal exchanges.

Considering that the family will not get another car (or a maid), how would you solve the dispute between the two brothers for good?

Non-verbal Communication (Gestures)

I scanned this page from my MNO (Management and Organization) textbook. Basically, be mindful of your hand gestures!

Post #1: Why effective communication skills are important for me?

Everyone communicates all the time - even babies communicate with their parents, one way or another. That being said, communication takes many forms: verbal, written, gestures, facial expressions, and so on. While communication seems natural, not everyone can communicate effectively, and much misconception has arisen as a result. 

I recall an argument I once had with my girlfriend over the phone, which lasted for hours through the night, only to be finally resolved when we realised it was all a misunderstanding. During the argument, we did everything but active listening (i.e. paying attention, showing that you’re listening, providing feedback, deferring judgement and responding appropriately) [1]. We conjured mental-counter-arguments, interrupted each other, and tried to put each other down, which fuelled the process. On hindsight, if we had practiced active listening, we could have spared much time and pain. This was just one of many incidences when my personal life could have benefited from having better communication skills such as active listening.

Effective communication skills are also important for my aspired career as a doctor. In addition to being sensitive to patients (a terminally ill patient can be very emotional), it is crucial for a doctor to communicate clear and precise information. Failure to do so could potentially put a life in danger, such as when incorrect drug dosage instructions are conveyed. This has in fact happened in 2006, resulting in the death of an innocent four-month-old baby.  

A doctor also has to be an active listener, paying attention and picking up bodily cues as patients describe their areas of discomfort. Asking appropriate funnel and probing questions [2], to find out more details, about the patient’s condition can also enhance medical examination.

All in all, in both my personal life and career, mastering effective communication skills is indeed vital for me. 

Image:

Horton, Karl. "Feedback." Jan 1986. Online image. Flickr. 21 Jan 2012. <http://www.flickr.com/photos/karlhorton/1903050006/>

References:

1. "Active Listening: Hear what people are really saying." Mind Tools. Web. 21 Jan 2012. <http://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm>

2. "Questioning Techniques: Asking questions effectively." Mind Tools. Web. 21 Jan 2012. <http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_88.htm>