Everyone communicates all the time - even babies communicate with their parents, one way or another. That being said, communication takes many forms: verbal, written, gestures, facial expressions, and so on. While communication seems natural, not everyone can communicate effectively, and much misconception has arisen as a result.
I recall an argument I once had with my girlfriend over the phone, which lasted for hours through the night, only to be finally resolved when we realised it was all a misunderstanding. During the argument, we did everything but active listening (i.e. paying attention, showing that you’re listening, providing feedback, deferring judgement and responding appropriately) [1]. We conjured mental-counter-arguments, interrupted each other, and tried to put each other down, which fuelled the process. On hindsight, if we had practiced active listening, we could have spared much time and pain. This was just one of many incidences when my personal life could have benefited from having better communication skills such as active listening.
Effective communication skills are also important for my aspired career as a doctor. In addition to being sensitive to patients (a terminally ill patient can be very emotional), it is crucial for a doctor to communicate clear and precise information. Failure to do so could potentially put a life in danger, such as when incorrect drug dosage instructions are conveyed. This has in fact happened in 2006, resulting in the death of an innocent four-month-old baby.
A doctor also has to be an active listener, paying attention and picking up bodily cues as patients describe their areas of discomfort. Asking appropriate funnel and probing questions [2], to find out more details, about the patient’s condition can also enhance medical examination.
All in all, in both my personal life and career, mastering effective communication skills is indeed vital for me.
Image:
Horton, Karl. "Feedback." Jan 1986. Online image. Flickr. 21 Jan 2012. <http://www.flickr.com/photos/karlhorton/1903050006/>
References:
1. "Active Listening: Hear what people are really saying." Mind Tools. Web. 21 Jan 2012. <http://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm>
2. "Questioning Techniques: Asking questions effectively." Mind Tools. Web. 21 Jan 2012. <http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_88.htm>
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ReplyDeleteHi Joel
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your post as you brought up a number of interesting points!
I liked your piece about active listening, and your little anecdote about you and your girlfriend. I empathize completely! I think many of us have had experiences like that with our friends, partners, parents or siblings. And it’s completely true that if we all practise active listening, the number of misunderstandings would decrease significantly. However I think that sometimes our emotions can get the better of us and we end up spouting words that we don’t mean, usually as a manifestation of our hurt feelings and pride. Thus I feel that mastering the skill of active listening requires self-discipline and determination to remain calm and objecting throughout the conversation.
I also like that you brought up the importance of good communication between doctor and patient. A few years ago my father was diagnosed with a form of blood cancer. When the doctor broke the news, he was insensitive and untactful towards my dad’s feelings. His poor bedside manner left my father feeling scared, helpless and totally vulnerable. Thankfully, a different doctor took over his case, and she encouraged my father tremendously. Most importantly, she made him realize that there was hope for complete remission and that he would be able to get his life back on track. Of course, a doctor’s encouragement and support are not the only factors in aiding a patient. However, I personally feel that a doctor not only has to treat the illness, but also remain sensitive and understanding to patient’s delicate state of mind.
I remember watching a re-run of the 1980’s TV show ‘Golden Girls’, and there was a particular monologue that was especially striking. The lead character, Dorothy, visited a doctor who was very insensitive to her feelings, and brushed her off as having a mental disorder. It turned out that she had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. In this clip, she is telling the doctor about how many doctors lose their humanity along their way, and she says that “if all doctors at the beginning of their careers could get very sick and very scared for a while, [they’d] probably learn more from that than anything else”.
You can watch the monologue here if you want: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJ996-ZdSW0. Watch it from 0.00-1.40.
Thank you for a very thought-provoking post Joel! Sorry for overloading your comments section so close to CNY :P
Tanisha
Hey Tanisha,
DeleteThanks for your comment! I hope your dad has won the battle against cancer. You reminded me of this Channel 8 medical drama called "The Oath". In the show, one of the female leads, Dr Yang, was diagnosed with a rare and terminal form of blood cancer (if I'm not wrong) and her days were numbered. To cut the story short, her condition miraculously turned for the better and she managed to recover. I believe the moral of the story here is: as long as one has the will to live, he/she can conquer any illness.
Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed reading my post (:
Hi Joel, I was just telling Jack from our class that effective communication skills are very important for relationships. Indeed it is because today in many couples ego has been the primary communication barrier for many couples. This rather large communication barrier has made it difficult for couples to undergo effective communication, leading to nasty break-ups or foul words that cannot be taken back. On the other hand, I am very glad that you and your girlfriend managed to make it up and cleared your misunderstanding. Horray!
ReplyDeleteWOW! You are aspiring to be a doctor! I am impressed and I feel that you do possess effective communication skills to communicate with your patients. Based on my observation of you in class, I feel that your communication skills are indeed effective and that you will be able to communicate well with your patients. I felt upset reading about the '4 month-old baby'. However accidents due to miscommunication cannot always be avoided due to time constraints and tired doctors who work heavy shifts. However I would like to wish you luck in becoming a successful doctor:)Cheers Joel!
Hey Loshini,
ReplyDeleteI'm flattered. haha. Thank you for the luck!
Hi Joel, you have a very good point there about the need of effective communication in a successful romance relationship. More often than not, a relationship fails because of ineffective communication. After reading 'Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus', I understood that men and women behave and think differently. By understanding what the other half behave or think in different situations, effective communication can take place and lesser conflicts will arise.
ReplyDelete(I highly recommend that book if you haven't read it.) (:
Hey Jian Min,
DeleteI guess effective communication is the key for any good relationship, not only boy-girl relationship. Thanks for the recommendation!
Thank you, Joel, for this very well-organized, clearly focused and articulate post. Like your other readers, I find your use of the bf-gf anecdote most appropriate, drawing us into your discussion with a common real-life situation. What makes that special though is how you relate the cause of your late night argument mainly to (in)active listening, and you work with that skills strand even as you discuss your career ambition.
ReplyDeleteOverall, this is a very effective response to the first assignment. Well done!
Hi Brad,
DeleteThank you for the compliment! I guess I still have much to work on in the area of active listening. I have to confess that I do space out sometimes, especially when I'm tired.
Hi, Joel! Happy New Year! I like the words "active listening" you mentioned, it so happened that we try so hard to prove ourselves right but forget to listen to others. The arguement happened between you and your gf enlighten us not just the problems in daily conversation, but also in other parts of live. Just like the doctor's incident, without active listen to the patient's true feeling, there is no way to find out the real illness. I think of the old story of "Tower of Babel", and the movie with the same name, it shows us how important for people to listen to each other in communication. I believe that the language is not the real barrier in communication as long as we can be patient and respectful. haha, I like the cute blog design and hope you have good condition with gf and live.
ReplyDeleteHi Zi Hao,
DeleteMy girlfriend and I are good, thank you! I like what you mentioned, about language not being the real barrier in communication. Language is just a tool to communicate. As such, if one tool doesn't work, we can always use another - perhaps non-verbal communication.
Hi Joel, I agree that a good doctor is one who effectively communicates, listens and observes attentively at his patients. However, I also hope that you will treat the nurses you work alongside likewise because I think you guys will need to work as a team to provide the best medical care for your patients ;)
ReplyDeleteHi Xi Min,
DeleteI can't agree more that doctors have to communicate effectively with their nurses. Ultimately, the type of care and amount of drug, that the patients receive are directly administered by the nurses, who in turn receive instructions from the doctors.